I can’t believe it’s been 12 years. 12 years without you. I think about you and I miss you every day. Your babies have grown into beautiful young adults. I think you’d be proud of them.
I wonder sometimes, if you were still here, would you have dove headfirst into the fandoms that I have? Harry Potter, Twilight, The Hunger Games. Would you have read every book, and gone to every Midnight Movie showing? Would you watch Frozen with me, over and over and over again? Could I have gotten you interested enough in politics to watch The Daily Show and The Colbert Report with me? Would you have come to New York with me to see the tapings? Wow, you and I wandering Manhattan; we’d be two lost sheep wandering into the wolf’s den. *L* I think you and Kelly would get on like a house on fire. Then I’d have two best friends that I love with all my heart.
Would you have hung out in dialysis with me? Or met me downtown afterwards for lunch? When I needed to lose weight to get back on the transplant list, would you have come to drag me all over town, just so that I wouldn’t be sat at home on my behind? Would you have come to see me in the hospital, when I was so sick that I almost died?
Would we play Animal Crossing together? That would be a hoot. We’d be shaking trees and catching bugs and fish, trading items and playing games on Tortimer Island. Would you help me prepare for the Jeopardy online test every year?
I sometimes wonder, if you were still here, would I have done any of the things that I’ve done? Would I have even started watching Colbert? Would I have gone to New York? Would I have met Kelly? Though, I’m pretty sure you had something to do with that. I think you knew that Kelly and I needed each other, and I thank you for that and for her.
I still love you, and I will love you forever. Though the ache has subsided, for the most part, I still have a wound that will never fully heal, because you are not here. I know that it wasn’t your choice to go, and that if you had your way, you’d still be here, driving me crazy, and making me laugh. I take solace in knowing that I’ll see you again someday, and that you’re watching over us; me, your mom and dad, your brother and sisters, and your kids.
Until we meet again,
Your loving “Sister”